?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Frustration

I'm afraid to say that right now I'm slightly off my rocker.

Yesterday I just wanted to get some things done and write. Now, the thing I learned from doing NaNo in 2005 is that I can finish something. The thing I learned in NaNo 2006 is that I do better when I have a community of writers with me. There were no write-ins and except for the kick-off party absolutely no interaction. This year so far I have learned that it's not good to add a new dynamic to the household and I am better off writing when I'm not at home.

Yesterday I attempted to eat a piece of chocolate cake. A piece of cake with five layers left. I think I only made it through two when I spied Sammy peeing on some stuff in the kitchen. My thought was, "Good lord! I can't even do something self-destructive and not good for me without being interrupted."

Sammy barks whenever the phone rings. Sammy jumps which I recognize is a personality trait. But he constantly jumps on the furniture as though it's an extension of a person. He's not earned the right to be on the furniture. There is no consistency in trying to get him to stop barking. Sometimes it's "No Bark", sometimes it's "Shh!", sometimes it's "Quiet", while other times it's "shut up" or "Thank you, Sammy, that's enough". I know the fault is mine and my husband's.

This evening I planned on going straight to Panera with a pad of paper so hubby would have the laptop. He got home early and was so excited to see me that I came straight home. When he found out my plans he insisted I pack up the laptop and go. But I didn't. He could see I was upset about something and I told him that I just wanted to write. For one month, I just wish I could sit down and write this novel, damn it. I know there is still time to get it done but sometimes I just have to be realistic about things and perhaps now is the time. It's not going to get done before the end of the month. I have to be a wife, a mom to a corgi, our tech support and a homeowner. There is no time off.

Sammy was barking at the birds on tv and quite concerned about the noise coming from it. Just when I was writing up my last LJ entry the phone rang. Sammy started his barking and I snapped. I was shrieking for him to not bark and then when he was trying to jump on the furniture I was shrieking for him to get down. My husband went upstairs without a word.

I feel like a monster.

Tags:

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
kithial
Nov. 20th, 2007 12:51 am (UTC)
You're not a monster. Puppies can be frustrating. Nature makes them so cute so that we don't kill them before they get to be good dogs. It sounds like you have had a frustrating day where you had to put everyone else before yourself. Remember, published writers did not write their first novels in a month; don't punish yourself in Margeaux's adventures are not publisher-ready by December. You can still work on it until it is ready for the whole to see the light of day -- and you have done way more than I could do!

~kit~
dogzilla30
Nov. 21st, 2007 04:53 am (UTC)
I'm not headed for publisher-ready at the moment - I just want to get the darn thing out and done. Then do the editing in December or January. Lulu.com usually provides a free copy of the book to "winners" and that's probably the coolest perk of getting it done.

Sammy gets a little bit better every day. I just have to remember that it takes time for everyone to settle into a new life. :)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )