I went to a neuro-opthalmologist yesterday afternoon. Afterwards I wanted to plant a camera in his office so I could watch him. He was just so cute! He was a gnome-like man with a tweed jacket, shirt, tie and dress pants. He took notes with a fountain pen while chatting with me. And when he broke the (good) news I was experiencing migraines for no known reasons, he couldn't always look me in the eye. His speech was rapid so I really had to focus on what he was saying. At one point he said something like, "If you ever experience a dimming in your vision, seek help right away and don't bother calling me. You're far too young for us to be having this conversation, but you should know it's a precursor to a stroke. Most people don't think about it and end up in the hospital two days later. So if this helps one of your loved ones it's good we had this chat."

This morning I went to a deli by my work for breakfast. I usually get a buttered bagel for carry-out but today I decided to get the buttermilk pancakes and bacon. While waiting for my order I get to hear the cashier chatting with one of the regular customers. The customer is a lawyer who specializes in DUIs. The customer asks about one of the other regulars.
And the cashier says, "Oh, he was in good spirits yesterday."
RC: Did he say he got a DUI?
CA: Yeah. He didn't show up the day before for breakfast and they were asking him where he was. Apparently he got picked up and didn't use his phone call so no one sprung him from jail.
RC: Oh! Well, he's got five days before his court appearance. But the courts have been lenient lately.
CA: Lenient?! I've had my fair share of DUIs and they aren't lenient.
RC: Oh, no, not with punishments but with the court dates. My specialty in the law firm is DUIs.
CA: And they can't expunge those from your records either.
RC: I know.
CA: I heard they can put them all together and go back like 10 years to get you on a big charge. I (either haven't had a DUI or my last DUI) was a year and a half ago.
RC: Yes, they have access to the records for 20 years.

I was just sitting there laughing at it. It was so funny.