He tells me that he's with the Department of Defense and he's doing a background check. I immediately think of my friend in CO who said that at some point the government would probably be contacting me about her. It's in regards to the National Security Agency (NSA) and I think of my friend in Maryland who works in the Pentagon. He's here to ask about a former employee. The first employee who comes to mind has about as much common sense as a rock - how could he possibly think he could get a job with the government? He shows me his badge which is unlike any badge I've ever seen in the movies. It's about 4 inches by 7 inches and is all writing from the top to the bottom. It's sureal and I can't take it all in that this is really happening.
I ask if we need a conference room and he said no, that the chairs in the lobby were fine. We sit there and he tells me who has applied for a job with them and the snag in his application. We terminated someone almost a year ago for not signing a non-compete agreement. I tell him the circumstances of why everyone was forced to sign the non-compete agreement and I answer his questions.
"Do you know of any instances where he was dishonest with you?"
"How was his attendance?"
"Did he violate any work policies that you're aware of?"
"Once; when he wouldn't sign the form."
He shows me paperwork that my former employee has signed giving people permission to talk about him. It's definitely a signature I've seen before.
When we're done, he tells me about an interview he had earlier in the month. He drove to a computer company in the northern section of Ohio and met with the HR woman in the lobby. She said that she could not assist him with his investigation. The HR woman walked off and he started to leave the building. He hears, "Psst! Psst!" from behind him. The receptionist beckons him to her. She says, "We never had this conversation." She proceeds to pull out her billfold and shows him a picture of a young lady in her late 20's. "This is my daughter. I think she is beautiful and is the most precious thing in the world to me. I overheard who you're inquiring about and I worked with him for two years in another department. If my daughter were interested in finding a husband and asked me who I would approve of, it is that man. He would be at the top of my list." After turning in the report, Mr. Champ's supervisor called him up. "You got a little off the beaten path there with that recommendation."
"Why yes, I probably did, but I can't think of a higher recommendation for a mother to give."
What can I say? I'm a bit of a sucker and got teary-eyed. He told me that he took a typing class 54 years ago but can't type so he uses Dragon Naturally Speaking Voice Recognition software. He got his wife from the class but never learned how to type and she doesn't have security clearance to be able to type up his reports.... so he uses this software!
Today while reviewing my Eudora spam mail a light bulb goes off over my head. I'm horrible with giving names to characters. I should just use the names my spam mail comes from. *snorts*